there was a lot of truth telling in my day today. honest sharing of simple, easy things and also of dark, painful, unthinkable things. there were funny truths, moments shared of healing realizations and stories of deep hurt, present and past. i heard candid assessments of the now and predictions of what may come. admissions of weakness and also of empowerment, of the boundaries that must sometimes be drawn to protect ourselves and the ones we love. i think the truth that i most connected to today was that sometimes the most honest revelation is that we just don't know what the truth is. just that. there's something liberating in the telling, even if the truth is indecision. it's powerful. and the beauty of the truth is that it almost never accompanies regret. it really does set you free.

so my truth tonight is that my heart is heavy. i'm feeling a little paralyzed, numbed, by the hard things i see going on around me, in the lives of people i love. i'm a little afraid to let it all in. i am not new to bearing witness and being a close supporter of people who are suffering. i've seen a lot. and i really do love being with people when they are most real, stripped down by the circumstances of real life. i'm just not feeling that effective right now. i'm feeling like i don't know what the right thing to do is. i'm deeply touched and disconnected at the same time. maybe fearing that i'm not present enough, not accessing my inner truth. maybe afraid of what might come if i really do take it all on. i don't know…my heart is heavy and i just don't know. that's the truth–it's all i've got.