sunday at the park, canon rebel xti, may 2009
i'm feeling really blog-blocked right now. type-keys are sticky and disjointed, the words not coming. i'm feeling like it is high time that i wrote something substantive here, the next REAL chapter, but it's just not happening.
but… if it were to flow, what i would write about today is how i am finding so much relief, so much happiness lately in not trying so hard. not efforting so vigilantly to have you see me as different, special, unique, but rather in allowing for you to see me in all my dimpled, sagging and tearful glory. how the opportunity for transparency on a larger scale has opened and stretched me further than i thought it could. how i am experiencing an intimacy and joy with my partner, my family, my friends, in a way i don't think i have before. how it's enough to just be together. how i am laughing more, listening more and kissing more. holding eye-contact for longer and appreciating, really appreciating, what i have. how i feel like i belong to it ALL. and ALL belongs to me. how i feel accessible and accessed.
from this see-through spot, i am so profoundly touched and inspired by the incredible work other people are doing in this world. creative juices are flowing…humans are growing…and i am here to witness it all. participate in it. i am not wanting to differentiate, but, rather to add to the positive goodness that is out there. that's the divine shift. i am seeking same. finding comfort and sublime opportunity in commonality. appreciating when our visions genuinely intersect. i am willing to risk being a cliche, if it means i can relax and fully embrace this moment of being. if it means i can blissfully run with my eyes closed while listening to your lyrics that slay me, weep at the sight of your brush-stokes or gasp while reading the masterpiece of your words. i want to be closer still–not further apart.
and, it's from my deepest most humble desire to continue with this authentic intertwining that my project is being born. it will be my offering. it is where i am putting my creative energy. it's going to be great. but it's going to take a while.
i'll keep showing up along the way. revealing and seeking the same.