Doorways Traveler
Doorways Traveler

archive: June, 2009

Doorways Traveler

29 June, 2009

for you.

Photo 180


found outside my back door today.
an offering for the women in my tribe. 
you know who you are. 
we spoke on the phone this morning as i took my walk.
you helped to write the story of my past from your memory. 
you sent me an email this afternoon, full of rawness and heart.
i could sense your unfolding.
you commented here on this blog. 
you stopped by my home, didn't notice my mess.
offered to take my son out for the afternoon.
i cried with you yesterday; you didn't waver or judge my struggle. 
we chatted a few days back.
i look forward to seeing you.
you invited me over to dance, fed me and gave me a nest.
you told me the truth.
we snuggled and watched a bad movie.
sat on a volcano and laughed our asses off.
after you kicked mine.
drummed and chanted.
painted and photographed.
climbed a whole lot of hills.
road tripped.
prayed.
and swapped dresses.
 
some of you i've never seen, only exchanged words and images. 
i feel kindred and grateful just the same.
it's impossible to articulate this stuff without sounding all bette midler and beaches.
but, damn if it isn't true.
you see me.
you get me.
you want me to fly.
and i really do want only the same for you.
rock on, bluebirds.
Categories: experiencing, loving
Doorways Traveler

26 June, 2009

unravelled.

IMG_0668real me. unravelling self-portrait, iphone, june 2009

i've been unravelling with susannah for the past eight weeks. it's been both a subtle and shell-shattering experience. i think it's still working on me. i think it'll be working on me for a while. 

i don't want to give much (anything) away because susannah has done a brilliant job of crafting a course that builds upon itself. but i will say this: i see myself differently than when i began.  i'm more comfortable, and dare i say, admiring of my own presence. my inner and outer worlds are lining up. integrating. my story is more clear. and i had the opportunity to have the journey reflected back to me by a community of brave and gorgeous women from all over the globe. i believe some of whom will be in my tribe for a long time to come. they were the soft landing for each leap and they blew me away with their images and revelations.
oh. and i danced and sang, too. on video. and shared it with these other 160 people in the course. not required, but unbelievably liberating. can cross that one off the life list.
dang. the whole thing was just really cool.
revealing and deep. 
playful and freeing. 
connecting. 
and i can't wait to unravel further
take the course. 
you won't regret it.
Categories: creating, experiencing
Doorways Traveler

24 June, 2009

(dis)integrating.

Ocean flowershoreline, canon rebel xti, june 2009

there's a little yogic story, not sure where it comes from, that so accurately describes the ego's resistance to change. it's about a raindrop falling from the sky that is so desperately attached to its identity. so fearful of changing form. as it plummets down from the clouds, it exclaims "i am a raindrop! i am a RAINDROP! I AM A RAINDROP!" and then, the raindrop lands in the ocean. deep breath here. as the raindrop merges with the sea, it asserts, with calm recognition, "i am the ocean." 

i keep coming back to the idea of expansion. getting bigger and calling in abundance. but, truth is, i've been working against a contracted state lately. tight. inflexible. scared. indulging the duality of heart and mind. not able to release the tensions that i feel. not willing? not surrendering.  i've felt like i've had porcupine quills made up of little wire coils surrounding my exterior this past week. bristly and sending out high pitched shrilly signals when rattled. not really lined up with  the smooth, huggable, expansive grinning soul that i want to be. 

sometimes that is the truth. that in these little death and re-birth cycles we go through, we bring unconscious opposition and resistance to something that is organically happening. because this thing i am experiencing, this recreation, isn't really about efforting. it's about another chapter, layer, level of letting go. getting to what's already there. yes, it's about surrender again. surrender to what's coming. surrender to the season, the day, the work and the practice of it all. surrender to the ease and flow that must be underneath all this tightness that i've been covering it up with.

not surprising, i've been drawn to spend more time at the ocean since i've begun this process. i'm typically more of a mountain girl; trees, rivers and rocks being my scene. i think this raindrop needed to be reminded of the sea. that i am that, all of it. beyond the rocky shore, beyond the crashing waves, beyond the horizon and all the way to the places around the world i want to go. 

just have to dive in. trust. (dis)integrate. and let go of all that surface tension.
Categories: revealing
Doorways Traveler

22 June, 2009

3 with a key.

IMG_2189, originally uploaded by Danielle Williams2008. a salaam garage participant. flickr credit


i'm wanting to start off the week with the sharing of some inspiring projects that i've stumbled upon in researching and developing my own. i'm calling it "3 with a key" because they are all links to fabulous work that unlock the doors to the things i love: travel, beauty and connection. serving and assisting. creativity. and making the world a whole lot smaller. 
take a look. and if the spirit moves you, grab the key, open the door and see where you end up!

1. photophilanthropy  "promoting activism through photography". i was taken right to the core as i browsed the photographs on this site. photographer nancy farese, amazing, stirring and motivating. check out these sites and see how you can "change the world with your camera."

2. salaam garage  "citizen journalism organization that partners with International NGOs and local non-profits. Participants (amateur and professional photographers, writers, videographers, etc.) connect with international NGOs, create and share independent media projects that raise awareness and cause positive change in their online and offline social communities." oh how i want to go on their upcoming trips to india and vietnam! alas, doesn't appear to be in the cards for me this year (never say never). but maybe for you? amanda koster and maggie soladay: you inspire me! and so do the rest of the team!

3. darius goes west this film became the theme for my daughter's middle school trip this spring. want to get your heart uplifted? think it's too hard to travel? for so many reasons, see this film. feel connected? want to do more? host a screening, make a donation, buy and share the dvd. 

should we do this every monday? i think i'm up for the challenge. so much goodness out there, plenty of keys to be had, and plenty more being made each and every day.

i'm humbled and motivated. a good way to begin the week.

Categories: Uncategorized
Doorways Traveler
Doorways Traveler