6 March, 2010
now.
i sit in the bathtub barely aware that all the water has
drained out. my heart is beating fast from the heat of the water, that whirring
sound is in my ears. my entire being is heavy with the gravity that only a
taste of weightlessness can bring. i haven’t been here in a long
time. here. in my body. in a moment. awake. and with it all. this awareness startles me, finds
me with those shuddering kinds of tears that we can only share with ourselves. i’ve missed me. i’ve missed feeling
free to be whatever i am-apart from the calendar, the plans, the barriers, the trappings. i’ve missed the knowing that i am enough. so much easier to believe the opposite. even now,
as i am moving deeper into my dream. even now, as i am taking more risks than ever before. i have been seeking validation,my
own, that i am really enough. that my pictures are pretty, powerful. that my
words suggest intelligence, or at least sincerity. that my heart is pure.
there’s effort. too much
fucking effort going into it. this is not freedom. i feel spread thin. i am tired. certainly that wasn't part of the plan.
and so here i am again. naked. breathing. sobbing. in a bathtub. with god.
ready to try a new way.
7 March, 2010
Oh Lisa. I’m trying to find a way to dance with similar rhythms but oh god the down beats leave me flat on the floor. Life-Death-Life. You’re moving into something extraordinary. Just as well you’re an expert on birthing pains. Much love to you xx
7 March, 2010
Spread too thin – that’s where I am right now too. How I wish I could curl up in a hot tub with you and let our simple animal bodies rest as we reminded each other that we are enough. Enough.
7 March, 2010
I hope you find clarity in this moment. I did, just reading it. I love the beautiful blend of vulnerability and courage.
btw, your photo of stacy d. is extraordinary. I can’t stop looking at it.
7 March, 2010
Sending love to you, brave woman. You are absolutely and completely enough, just as you are. No matter what you do. No matter what you do- you are enough.
Big heartfelt hugs to you.
7 March, 2010
I honor the honesty and raw vulnerability of you in this moment. What a beautiful, nude truth to bring to us.
What amazes me is that your images and words are beautiful. Simply beautiful. It’s like they can’t be anything other than that because they simply are. I find so much life and breath and connection to my own humanity when I see and read them. Who you are and what you see brings life.
This post made me want to submerge myself in hot water, too, to take a moment and be present to my humanity again, to my life and breath, to my thoughts and emotions, to what makes me, me. Thank you.
7 March, 2010
here is to self-love and transformation! sending love and good vibes your way!
7 March, 2010
you ARE god… and so is that tub and those feelings and the soap scum and the love in your pure heart.
7 March, 2010
honey i’m standing right here with a massive fluffy towel to dry you warm and hold you close, whenever you are ready to get out.
i love that you post these images of you so quiet and vulnerable, and underneath there is the bold grinning you at the feet of india.
xxx
7 March, 2010
your words cut right to the core.
you are so beautiful and so amazing;
and you are more than enough.
in this moment here: raw, beautiful, vulnerable and powerful… wow, you take my breath away.
thank you for being in my life.
xo
7 March, 2010
must be in the stars, I feel the same way today, there must be a lighter path, not so heavy, not so busy, not so unpresent… I feel an opportunity to do it all differently but the old way is tugging at me and dragging me back kicking and crying. and you nailed it, it’s just me I really want to be kind to, to be in love with, to be patient and true to. thanks for the reminder dear friend!
7 March, 2010
A familiar journey. Peace to you.
7 March, 2010
if you were to stay in the bath for days, or years, you would still be more than enough. your images are so raw, naked, tender and powerful and tell the whole story. the world needs them to be released. i think all these growing pains are god gently guiding you closer to your dream. there is safety in the bathtub but always know you have a soft towel of support ready to be wrapped around you when you are ready to come out. xo