yellow fever vaccine for travel to uganda. today. mac photobooth.

i am in my imperfect perfection. the form of now. learning that there are a thousand truths underneath the one that speaks. turning kindness toward myself in a way i've never done before. and actually believing and receiving it.

this is big. it is all up for grabs.

and i'm receiving.

i am receiving (mostly) gracefully. with patience. with trust. with knowing. 

there is no room left for shame here, nor for unworthiness or fear of full expression.

i am not too big for this life.

and the proof? the way i know that i am on the right track? well, that's the best part. the proof comes packaged in the most beautiful forms. in holy freaking spectacular community. in friendship that is available and free and willing and safe and uncomplicated. in the unsolicited email i received last night from a deep soul writing to thank me for opening up to this life and for sharing it. (seriously? i'm being thanked for living my dream?) the proof is in the whirring hummingbird by the window and  the story on the radio about women in northern uganda that came on just the moment i tuned in. the proof is in the eye contact, the timing, and the honesty. in generosity and opportunity. the proof is in my son's tenderness and my daughter's charisma. my husband's loyalty, love, and willingness to face what's hard and to stretch. the proof is in this new feeling i have inside. the one where the anxious inertia transforms into peaceful, passionate momentum. the proof is right there for me to see, to feel, and to touch.

it is ok to be who i am. to be loud and open. to crave and to hunger and to want and to ask. to be full.

(i will not defend. or rationalize. diminish or explain.)

freedom is as freedom does.

right now. right here.

i've got proof. 

(do you?)