giving nourishment
to all our tender wondrous spheres
~hafiz

these are the scenes i look at all day long, above my desk, where i process photos and string words. clearly, i love the toast catalog. the work of my friends (even better when gifted). the colors blue, grey, brown, and white. textiles and block print. torn edges. feathers. and the way sun makes even shadows look better. the green door in the middle? takes me right back to the temple in india where i captured it.

my children are asleep. the house is quiet. and as i sip some dry red wine, while listening to kirtan chants and working late on a project, i’m taking inventory of my dreams. trying on and opening to the truth that the feelings evoked by this imagery–the very ones that made me rip them out from other places, put them together and place them where i’d see them each day–belong to me. even more, that i am entitled to the lived experience of what these visions represent: softness, adventure, intrigue, abundance, quiet, solitude, self-knowing, mystery, freedom, comfort, expression, elegance, ease, JOY.

these are the things that my heart longs for.

IT IS OUR BIRTHRIGHT TO HAVE WHAT OUR HEARTS LONG FOR. IT IS OUR PURPOSE. IT IS THE BEST THAT WE CAN GIVE TO THIS LIFE AND TO THE PEOPLE WE LOVE.

turns out i can write this simple little manifesto on a keyboard. i can even post it to an unseen audience of thousands. i can preach it passionately to my children. but i could not speak it aloud to my therapist when i was asked to today. because i don’t quite believe yet that this is true for me. i’ve lived a long time believing that i am the exception.

it is healing time.

today, after a bath, in the last sunshine.

joining my friends for august break. grateful to susannah for the communities she so lovingly creates. for the month of august, i will be posting daily photos. sometimes there will be words, but not always. most will probably be taken with my iphone.

as this new month begins, i am in a defining moment in my life. a lot is being asked of me. i feel porous and depleted, ravenous and resourceful, curious and careful.

someday, i think i’ll look back and appreciate the honest diary that a month of mindful photos will capture. i hope so.

thanks, sus.