in 21 days, we will celebrate the winter solstice. there will also be a full moon. and i will turn 4o. in anticipation of all that auspiciousness, i have been cleaning, sorting, and clearing my interior spaces. every bit of clutter has gone. with a massive change in my personal life has come the need to look into every corner and closet, metaphorical or real, and to take inventory as to what belongs, what is in alignment, and what is ready to go. this process has been meditative, cathartic, sometimes wobbly and frenetic, but it has proved to create a spaciousness that, though anticipated, has still surprised me. i’m starting to feel where the openings are, make room for more light, and understand where things tend to pile up.

i wanted to begin something today that would focus me over the next 21 days to to live with an even more heightened intention. to ask each day what love would do. to listen carefully and to respond with honesty, transparency, and trust. i’ve been thinking of it as a cleanse–but a gentle, non-restrictive kind. i simply want to move into this next decade, on the darkest night of the year, as conscious and present as i can.

the term “consciousness cleanse” has been running through my head off and on for a while now. only today, it has been like a subliminal billboard or bullhorn. having no idea whether it was something i was creating or whether the term was planted, i just googled it. no joke, but there just so happens to be a book called called Consciousness Cleanse. more than that, it is a 21 day process! i feel really guided and onto something good. i’ve just downloaded it onto my kindle for iPhone app and am ready to begin. my consciousness cleanse begins today.

while i was pulled to participate in darlene’s december views or gwen bell’s reverb10 this month (not wanting to miss the party) i know that it is most important for me, especially now, to follow my own inner lead. i’ll be journaling the experience here and taking self-portraits as a way to reflect on the process. and please, if you feel so inclined, join me. the book is available through amazon for download or in print. i have no idea if it is right for you, but i know for sure it is what i am to do next.

portrait by my daughter. rare for me to be seen and not aware. i miss her. she comes home from bolivia on thursday.

what i cannot control:

my fears.

your fears.

my ghosts.

your ghosts.

my hunger.

your hunger.

my perception.

your perception.

what i can control:

absolutely nothing.

(and i can LOVE, like really big)

ps. thank you for the warm welcome, everyone. loving my new home.