My absolute pleasure to spend a sunny day in the mountains above Santa Barbara working with creative, passionate, and willing participants. We left tired, sunburned, and satisfied. I am quite pleased with the results.

The Adesso Totem line is stunning. Shop it here. Samantha, Liberty, Hillary, Maddy, Tomiko and Aidan: Thank you.

photos: shot for Adesso Jewelry. Lizard’s Mouth, Santa Barbara. September, 2011.

the kids are finally at school, and i find myself alone in my house for what feels like the first time in recent memory. quiet, except for the hum of the refrigerator and the dog’s occasional sigh in hopes of our morning walk. i know the bathrooms need cleaning and there is laundry to fold (letting go of  hired cleaning help seemed like a prudent financial decision–until now). there is oatmeal on the kitchen counter, coffee spilled on the wood floor, unfinished projects, and lack of sleep in my eyes.

the anxiety is ramped higher than it has been in a while. unwelcome thoughts confusing fear with intuition. i’m looking up to see if shoes are falling from the sky.

while on retreat, i professed my intention to really welcome, to claim, the grace and abundance of my life. the renewal of my marriage; the love, passion, and hunger i never imagined we’d feel again. my children and their staggering many intelligences and beauty (still can’t believe that neither of them got the big nose). our opportunities for travel, connection, friendships. the simple accounting of the amazing people i know and have met. this place i live, these things i have. calla lilies by the blue front door. an ocean down the street.

when i chased the sunrise in my pajamas in the frosty cotswolds last weekend, i had one of those moments of spontaneous joy and gratitude. there were tears and i whispered thank you, thank you, thank you. funny how just a week later, i can sit here just wishing to feel that again.

they say gratitude is a practice. remembering our connection is why we practice.

i think i’ll take this knot in my belly up the mountain now and do my best to leave it there. an offering to the choosing. to the remembering. to the laundry, the oatmeal, the love, the chaos, the plans, the fears, the figments and the apparitions. to this life that is mine.

better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. ~chinese proverb

photos: yesterday’s instragrams. follow me there @doorwaystraveler

november and december found me shooting more local portrait sessions which i have found that i really enjoy. i’ll start sprinkling in some more posts to feature recent work, because, well, they are just too beautiful not to share. this day in particular, with elizabeth, stephane, and their beautiful daughter, was especially fun. chasing a sweet toddler and her lovely parents in mercurial light? hard not to create lovely images.

we debated the existence of god and burned messages to the universe, drank fresh green juice and ate 6 kinds of chocolate. we wore our best lounge wear paired with fantastic jewelry. we burned the fire all weekend and walked in the cold crisp air. we were visited by a magical fox and let go of the past year. i chased the sunrise in my flannel pajamas and lie under the stars thanking whoever and whatever is out there for the grace and abundance in my life. we all showed up just as we are, connected,  and came away with just what we needed. i am home now, jet lagged but without longing. because i know they are still with me. and we’ll return to our hidden cottage in the cotswolds for years to come.

photos: annual weekend in a cotswold cottage with the fantastic bbc. jo, emma, megg, sus, sas, pen, and leonie: i love you.