Sugan
She was clearly the life of the party. A woman of enough age and experience to no longer care about her volume or her gravity. She gestured wildly and gave me little “you know” punches while staring at me with the kind of rascally eyes that also know compassion. When I shared photos of my children with her, she turned to me and said (emphatically) that we were now sisters. Simple as that. And then she hugged me and patted my cheeks.
I didn’t notice when Sugan left. There was a lot of activity as myself and three other journalists were meeting in a small traditional village home with the Vatsalya women’s empowerment group from Shampura. Next thing I knew, as if from the sky, a sparkling Rajput garment was dropped in my lap. Sugan had returned, offering me a gift that I am later told may take her six months to earn enough money to replace.
I was whirled into another clay floored room in this small home. The women from the group began to dress me, laughing at my western pants and undergarments. I was tucked and tied into sequined green and orange; adorned with red henna in the part of my hair and a bindi on my third eye.
(I hadn’t told anyone that my secret wish in India was to be dressed traditionally by local women. Somehow, I believe, Sugan knew this.)
I had never felt more beautiful and I promised Sugan I would wear her gift when I returned to the village to visit her home the next day.
At her home, she welcomed me with the same grace and excitement as the day before. She served me tea. She showed me the altar where she prays and the bed where she sleeps. She shared these sacred spaces with pride and ownership. She again called me sister. And my heart opened a thousand fold.
Sugan knew that we are the same. We are women. We are mothers. We are curious seekers of beauty and connection. We enjoy laughter and sweet things. We want only the best for our children. We care for our homes and want to be useful outside them. For Sugan, being a part of the women’s empowerment group was an easy decision. She wants to earn her own money. Support her family. Be independent. Sugan knows how to embrace opportunity and assert herself squarely in the center of it.
It only took a moment, an afternoon, for Sugan and I to really see one another. To see ourselves, reflected back, in the simplicity of who we are. What I learned from my time with Sugan in the rural Indian village of Shampura, is that, at the bottom of things, we are the same. That our stories collide in a meeting. My story about Sugan is as much about myself as it is about her. It is about connection, being seen, and helping a woman, a sister, realize her potential in this world.
I am so grateful that Sugan chose me. The dress she gave me hangs in my closet as a daily reminder of how easy it can be to be found when we are doing the work that we love. In this story, I do believe that the doorway to freedom was opened for me. Sugan held the handle on this one.
Support Sugan and the other women of Shampura as they work together to create independent and sustainable income to support themselves and their families.
visit Vatsalya for more information.
